As a result of low confidence and low self-esteem, you may often find yourself putting people on a pedestal. The issue here is that you maximize people and their characteristics (including parents), while you minimise yourself. What you can expect to happen when minimising yourself is that your confidence, self-worth, and self-belief, self-trust deteriorate over time.
Those, whom you put on a pedestal have to live up to your expectations and can be tiring or even exhausting for them. You allow their characteristics that you lack, to fill that void for whatever is missing in your life. The problem is that when that person is no longer there for you due to a breakup, divorce, death, or any other reason, the void returns. Which is then even more daunting than before. It is total avoidance of what you are missing and gaining it from those around you.
To strengthen your inner world, it is imperative to raise your confidence and self-esteem and determine where this void is in your life. Here’s how you can start this journey:
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Recognize the Pattern
The first step is to acknowledge the pattern of putting people on a pedestal. Reflect on your past relationships and interactions. Did you often feel lesser or overly dependent on someone else for your happiness? Understanding this behavior is crucial for change.
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Identify the Void
Ask yourself what void you are trying to fill. Is it a lack of self-love, insecurities including financial insecurities, a fear of being alone, or perhaps unresolved issues from your past? Pinpointing the exact nature of this void will help you address it directly. When you are relying on someone to fill a void for you, you don’t grow in who you are. There is no personal growth as you continue to rely on someone else to fill one or more voids in your life.
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Build Self-Awareness
Engage in activities that promote self-awareness, such as journaling, meditation, or therapy. These practices can help you understand your emotions, needs, and triggers better. Self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth and change.
- Enhance Self-Confidence
Start by setting small, achievable goals that can boost your confidence. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how minor they seem. Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that you enjoy and excel at.
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Develop Self-Reliance
Learn to rely on yourself for validation and support. This doesn’t mean isolating yourself but rather building a strong inner foundation: practice self-compassion and positive self-talk. Remind yourself of your strengths and capabilities regularly.
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Foster Healthy Relationships
Seek relationships where there is mutual respect and balance. Avoid those who make you feel inferior or dependent. Healthy relationships are built on equality and shared respect, not on placing someone above yourself.
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Seek Professional Help
If you find it challenging to break these patterns on your own, consider seeking help to raise your confidence and self-esteem. This is where I can help you with my Life Coaching experience. You will receive guidance and strategies tailored to your specific situation.
The Benefits Of Having A Life Coach
Putting people on a pedestal may seem harmless, but it can lead to a loss of self-identity and self-worth for you. As well as a lot of pain later down the road.
By recognizing this pattern and taking steps to build your confidence and self-esteem, and self-reliance, you can fill the void within yourself and create a more balanced and fulfilling life. Remember, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. Invest in it wisely. Contact me today at debbie@inspirationalfutures.co.za to improve your relationship with yourself, raise your confidence and self-esteem to have belief in yourself, value yourself, rely on yourself only, and raise your self-worth.
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