I hear from various clients who are in relationships, that there is so much betrayal going on between couples. The person that is on the receiving end of betrayal can often suffer from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and anger. Feeling the stress of such destructive behavior such as being caught up in the perpetrator’s web of lies, caught up in fearing the unknown, makes you feel lonely and leads you to feel quite helpless.
Speaking to family and friends seeking guidance and help is not solving the problems you face. Having not experienced it themselves they generally don’t understand what you are going through. Doctors generally give you medication for anxiety and depression. Yet tablets don’t make you feel as good as you once naturally felt before. You may be finding that the tablets are numbing some of the pain, but not near enough to bringing happiness and peace back into your life.
Betrayal starts as a friendship and flirting
Some people say it is okay for a person to have a friend of the opposite sex. I disagree especially if this new friend was made during the period of your relationship. Men and women cannot be friends while each one is in a relationship. Your partner is your best friend and therefore there is no need to have a friendship with the opposite sex outside the relationship.
In the entanglement of your emotions, you so badly want to believe the one you love when they tell you that there is no affair or fling going on. But deep down inside of you, there is an inner knowing that they are lying. It’s hard to believe that, the one you love possibly doesn’t love you back in the same way. It’s difficult to accept that they no longer feel the same way for you as all their attention has steered towards the new person.
Now that this has been brought to your attention, I ask how much are you sacrificing yourself to be with the person who is playing these games and betraying you?
Could it be costing you your…
- Peace of mind?
- Confidence?
- Mental state?
- Faith in your maker?
- Social life as you withdraw from any form of social life?
- Physical well-being as you are tired, drained, and lack energy?
- Health?
- Values and everything that is important to you?
- Family as you pretend that everything is okay, to avoid the embarrassment it may cause?
- Emotional well being?
Up for Consideration
What I did, and you may also do be considering or doing, is to stay in the relationship in a bid to avoid the hurt and pain that comes with ending the relationship. You stay in order to prove to yourself that you feel small, useless, unloved, and helpless isn’t true.
However, this can eat you up from inside for years and years to come, as it did with me, especially when you never find out the truth. The lie remains in the family system while your health could very well be deteriorating.
You deserve the truth to restore balance to the relationship
That is if your partner has the common decency to share the truth with you. This is when you take back self-respect and can make an informed decision as to stay or go. If you stay, you must let it go for good. If you leave, that is your right to do so.
Staying in the relationship to avoid the hurt can be worse than taking the leap to get out while you can. Staying when you cannot get over the betrayal can have long term effects on you, your family, and your health. The sacrifice you make will cause you to carry the pain and hurt for years on end. Only you can help yourself in this situation and you have to build on your own inner strength to do so.
If you are feeling torn as to what to do due to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and anger, I can help to build up your inner strength. When you have your inner strength back, you can make informed decisions for yourself and your family. You have peace of mind, clarity, and a way forward. I am here to guide you as you build your own inner strength and to support you along the way. Contact me today for one free session to find out how.