You are born into life thinking there is a specific way to act, think and feel yet it is those things that can cause low self-esteem, anger, anxiety, and depression.
You live by what society dictates to you which is usually to:
- get a good education,
- go out into the big world and get a good job that pays well,
- marry,
- have kids,
- work hard until you retire,
- and you know the rest
The problem with this is that you don’t always get told to do what you love. Do what makes you happy. So you live your life thinking nothing is wrong because you are living according to this construct you’ve been told to live by.
Somewhere along the line though, you find that this isn’t working for you. Once you fully experience stress, anxiety, depression, anger, hurt, sadness, and other issues, this is when you realise this is the life you never wanted. Life has caught up with you and comes to bite you.
I lived this life until I reached my mid 40’s and then started to question this ‘ideal’ and ‘structure’ we ‘must’ fit into. This box that we must fit into, to ‘please everyone else’. However, the more you please others, the more you lose yourself. This results in you feeling that you are not good enough and so your self-worth deteriorates further and further.
Knowing I had choices in life, wasn’t enough to get me out of the boxed mindset. Not enough to realise my full potential. My mindset was limiting. My beliefs were not aligned with what I would like to have for myself. Beliefs of ‘you must work hard to make a lot of money or ‘fight for what you want’. Others are ‘you will never have money or ‘you will never be rich; you have to be lucky to be rich’.
A belief I hear too often in abusive relationships is ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’. You live your life according to these beliefs, day in and day out becoming unhappier with life and destroying your self-worth, lowering your self-esteem causing anger, anxiety, and depression, and creating mixed emotions within you.
By changing your belief systems, you change your mindset. How you react towards people and situations changes your mindset and you change your life. When you change your words and the tone you use that is not driven by deep dark emotions, you change your life. Bringing love into everything changes your attitude and your mindset.
How To Make changes:
- Your actions, thoughts, and words can cause much distress in your life until you change them.
- Blame no one else, only take responsibility for who you are.
- Ask in every situation ‘is this who I choose to be?’. Ask the abuser ‘is this who you choose to be?’ The change will come from asking this question.
- When you have made these changes and certain habits, strategies, attitudes, or other unwanted behaviors and patterns continue to show up, this is when you need to ask for professional help.
When you become stuck, or unsure of those deep-seated issues, our proven techniques can break those chains that bind you. Step into the unknown, this is where you grow the most and transform your life. Call me for one free session if you are willing to transform your life from low self-esteem, or anger, anxiety and depression into a more peaceful, confident, joyful, and fulfilling life for yourself.