Very low self-esteem can make decision-making quite difficult, causing you self-doubt and therefore second-guessing much of what you do. Thinking back in time, you know that you were often shy but over the years your self-esteem has deteriorated.
Another cause of your self-esteem deteriorating is the ongoing failures of your decision-making. So you take fewer risks, and therefore you make fewer decisions for yourself. It seems more prudent to rely on people you love to help you make decisions and this in itself can be disempowering for you.
You are aware of the consequences of all your choices, but your second-guessing causes you to question whether they are good or bad, and you become entangled in a web of uncertainty. The worse the consequences the more your self-esteem fades. It can eventually turn into an emotional roller coaster ride.
I went through it myself where I could not make a decision for myself. My self-esteem was at an all-time low. I believed I wasn’t good enough for my partner, and that I was undeserving of love and felt completely worthless. It was an all-time low for me. My decisions kept me in an unhealthy relationship on more than one occasion. Looking back now I realise that it was my own insecurities, feeling not good enough and worthless that kept me there. These feelings of insecurity had come from not having a father around in my younger days. Consciously I thought it didn’t affect me at all as I lived my life without my dad around. But subconsciously it had a definite impact on my life. Causes of such effects can be identified in systemic constellations done as one of the coaching processes.
When you make choices in life be sure of the consequences, for example:
- Do I allow myself to be in an affair with a married man/woman? The consequence is that there is a guarantee of you and others being hurt and some point;
- Do I sleep with someone I don’t know? The consequence is that I regret what I have done the next day, as I have placed my life and my body in possible harm’s way
- Do I get divorced or do I stay in the marriage? There are various consequences and too many to list here but it is definitely a big decision with consequences that will impact you for better or worse too
- To move to another country or not? The consequence could you that you are very happy while another consequence could be that you feel you don’t belong
- Choosing to play the victim role, has many consequences and just to mention one is that you become stuck in victimhood and your life cannot improve as you would like it to
How to make better decisions for yourself, and something I wish someone told me many years ago:
- When making decisions, be sure that they are based in love for yourself and those around you
- Ensure your decisions are going to be for the right reasons for yourself and everyone
- Whatever the consequence, take responsibility for your decision/s.
- If you made a bad decision take the learning from the outcome and move on in life
- Understand upfront that whatever the consequence/s you will only grow from within, from the learning that comes out of it. Growing from within is a natural flow of life
- Acceptance of the outcome
- Know all the pros and cons of the consequences, to the best of your ability
Start today to raise your self-confidence, self-worth, and your self-love through practicing the above and applying them to your daily life.
If you however you would like to fast-track your development and raise your self-esteem to an all-time high, contact me today for one free 45-minute session. I can then explain to you how this will benefit you long term and you can be true to who you are today.
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